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Fuckin’ blankets…how do they work?
If you haven’t seen the original, which I suspect was a semi-popular meme:
Which of course deserved this glorious SNL take-down:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xfmCRFxIJw&feature=player_embedded
Dumbing Down TV Pt. 2: Oprah will PWN your ass
Everyone loves “Discovery Health” right? Sure, if you’re the type who likes to discover that you are eight months pregnant. The soup handled the show appropriately:
Well, good riddance “Discovery Health” and hello “OWN TV.” In January of 2011 “The Oprah Winfrey Network” will debut, emerging from the carcass of “Discovery Health.” I know…you can’t wait that fucking long! Well, here’s a taste of what Oprah will be lovingly spoon feeding you.
OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network will be a 24/7 cable network devoted to self-discovery, to connecting you to your best self and to the world.
That’s right. 24/7. All day and all night. Whenever you want. TV designed to bring more better into your life.
Except…my whole life is going to revolve around watching OWN 24/7! What better avenue to self-discovery than watching Dr. Oz tell me how to get healthy and then, instead of going outside, watching Dr. Phil tell me how to feel better about myself. Connect to the world!
Bill Donohue: Gay Hater/Pederast Defender
Bill Donohue, of the indispensable Catholic League, defends rampant child abuse in the church:
Oh, they’re not children, they’re post-pubescent. It’s merely homosexuality. That’s the real evil here, can’t you see that? We’ve got to do something about those plunging neck-lines on the alter boy robes these 12 year-olds are wearing these days.
And just for the shit of it:
8 year-olds, dude.
Wingnut Stupidity
There are some alarming results in a recent Harris poll. “Obama’s a socialist!” “Obama’s a Muslim!”
Sure, it’s not news to many that over 50% of the republicans polled feel this way but did you know that a full 25% of them think he’s the Antichrist?
Check out the education level breakdown. Stupidity Crisis indeed.
Divine Law School
Ugh. Yet another pompous, god-fearing windbag is out to educate the American Public (read: tea-baggers) on the real intent of our founding fathers.
They’ve even got ordained ministry teaching some of the classes, in case you really want the unbiased truth.
Global Warming Denial…Denial
Ever been confronted by a global warming denialist? They’re pretty tenacious but often standing on precarious scientific footing, if any at all. If you’re like me, you have little patience for someone who denies the validity of something simply because doing so helps them fit more snugly into their tidy conservative worldview. Lucky for you, the mountain of evidence to help you pummel your friend’s weak argument is now right at your fingertips!
“Ice age predicted in the 70s”
1970s ice age predictions were predominantly media based. The majority of peer reviewed research at the time predicted warming due to increasing CO2.
And there’s even an iPhone App! Use your new powers wisely.
Formerly known as “The Learning Channel”
Remember when KFC was “Kentucky Fried Chicken?” When “fried” became taboo, the company deftly shifted the moniker to simply KFC. Well, these days learning is taboo and not only that, it’s boring! In a prophetic move, “The Learning Channel” re-branded itself as TLC in 1998 and never looked back. Free from the clumsy shackles of educational programming, the network has released such appalling drivel as “49 Kids and Counting.”
Last Saturday, TLC (Think Like Crazies?) premiered a new program featuring yet another magical dude pretending to talk to dead people. Only this time, he finds out which sucker…err..grieving family member is really supposed to get all the cool shit the deceased left behind. Who needs a will?