Dumbing Down TV Pt. 2: Oprah will PWN your ass

Everyone loves “Discovery Health” right? Sure, if you’re the type who likes to discover that you are eight months pregnant. The soup handled the show appropriately:

Well, good riddance “Discovery Health” and hello “OWN TV.” In January of 2011 “The Oprah Winfrey Network” will debut, emerging from the carcass of “Discovery Health.” I know…you can’t wait that fucking long! Well, here’s a taste of what Oprah will be lovingly spoon feeding you.

OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network will be a 24/7 cable network devoted to self-discovery, to connecting you to your best self and to the world.
That’s right. 24/7. All day and all night. Whenever you want. TV designed to bring more better into your life.

Except…my whole life is going to revolve around watching OWN 24/7! What better avenue to self-discovery than watching Dr. Oz tell me how to get healthy and then, instead of going outside, watching Dr. Phil tell me how to feel better about myself. Connect to the world!